Courtesy Ramsiel, Love&LightWorld

I seem to have a backlog of questions I hadn’t noticed about death and dying. My intention is to help you see that there is nothing to be frightened of. We have all died many times and here we are today.

From Tionna:

“This is so deep. I was crying. It’s scary to die and not know what’s going on and where we’re going to go next…but I hope me and my family go to paradise.”

(in response to: http://www.askyourangels.com/alive-after-life/where-where-do-you-go-when-you-die-7-options.)

Tionna, no matter what your life is like today, when you pass on, you will be given all the options, both positive and what you think of as negative. How you choose to live today is how you will live tomorrow, dead or alive. When you pass on, you take yourself with you. Your level of consciousness is how you decide how to live: with love or without, happy or sad.

In a body, there are opportunities each day, no matter how seemingly horrendous a situation is, to ask for guidance from God. You may remember, “Ask and you’ll receive.”  Based on your decision, and it is a decision, you can choose your life. Does it always work out filled with love and joy? Of course not. On the other hand, how you choose to respond makes a huge difference in what and how you receive life.

The same is true in death.  Most of us don’t want to die, but we do anyway. There is nothing to be worried about. You do the best you can. We all make mistakes. We all mess up. However, your level of consciousness, Tionna, will not let you do tortuous things to another. And so you won’t. You will make mistakes that you might very well be sorry for but you return to your normal goodness.

Learning to forgive yourself and others leads to peace of mind and an everyday smoothness that enables you to live what life spews out relatively unscathed, even when the apparent worst happens.

In death, you are given the opportunity to move into the Light. Just intend to step into it and you’ll be fine. If you “miss the bus” so to speak, be open to looking again and it will appear.  Those you know will appear to usher you into what you call paradise. It’s a happy occasion and not frightening.

Courtesy Ramsiel, Love&LightWorld

There have been so many comments on this blog that I haven’t had time to answer. I will focus here for awhile to see if I can assuage your joint fears. Please remember that that I am answering through my Angels’ guidance; left on my own, I don’t know any more than you.

From Anna, Nelson, NZ
“The question I have is when a spirit/soul sticks around near earth perhaps due to unfinished business….how does the essence of that being retain their human personality?

“When things have been channeled through from my dad, he is very much sounding like my dad, and not a soul/spirit accessing source (or maybe it’s both but he is relating to me in a way he thinks I will relate?). So why is the human personality retained after death? Is it that they are not ready to let go and hold onto that? Or does spirit individuate into personalities anyway?”

Anna’s Angels answer:

When someone passes on, in this case Anna’s dad, he has moved into the Light but continues to “watch over her.” They seemed to have a deeply loving connection. That connection does not disappear at death.  It is natural for him to relate to her in a way she can recognize as him, otherwise she would think that I, as a Medium, was making it all up. I remember her laughing. She was reassured that her dad was very much with her.

The personality of our deceased is how we identify him/her in our physical environment.  It is my experience, that the personality that we knew gradually disappears. My mom, who was at odds with me most of her life, began to appear in my dreams a year or two ago. The 30 years before that, she wouldn’t look at me. I would see her and beg her to to interact with me, but she ignored me.

What I think happened is that after 30 plus years of living minus a body, she has finally released her old judgment of me. We are now loving friends, the same friends we were in life when she was “in the mood.”

As for Anna’s question, “…does spirit individuate into personalities anyway?”  This is a fascinating thought. What I’m hearing is yes and no.  There are parts of all of us that appear when we are with one person and not another, in one situation but not another. 

Those in spirit can manifest different parts of themselves from their old personality initially. Those who are dead but not in the Light, whom we call ghosts, retain their old persona until they choose to let go of their judgment and forgive themselves and others. 

In the place of Unconditional Love, the God-Light, what Anna calls “spirit,” you return to Source until you choose to reincarnate. What I’m hearing is these spirits can try out new behaviors, because they are not judged. However, your level of consciousness never moves backwards; i.e., a “good” person in a body would not choose to be a murderer. 

The process begins again with birth into a different body. We forget the feeling of unconditional love when the world surrounds us. It is the remembrance that makes life worth living.

Courtesy Ramsiel, Love&LightWorld

Hearing from the other side can be a bit unsettling until you figure out what, if anything, needs to be done.

“I am 16 years old and believe I have the gift of communicating with spirits.  What I would like to know is how can I improve this as I am unsure about my abilities’ strength.  I sometimes have the same dream more than once and on occasion, there has been someone asking for help.

I just need some advice.”  Jessie

Hi Jessie,

Thanks for asking.  You are doing the right thing in asking for help before you are unable to sleep at night from so many knocking at your dream door.  Like most things in life, you need to figure out what is acceptable to you. Is it okay for you to be bombarded in your sleep with those who have passed on? Don’t you need your rest too? Might it be useful for you to set up some guidelines to what is allowable and what is not?

Here are my suggestions which come from me personally, and from various teachers looking to lend an emotional hand.

First of all, realize that you are already open to receiving or you would not be “getting” information. The question now is, what do you want to do with it? How much time do you want to attend to the needs of those who want to pass into the Light, because believe me, you must learn to set boundaries or you won’t finish high school without bags under your eyes from lack of sleep.

My suggestions follow:

1. I have no idea what part of the country you live in, but in San Diego, I have found a wonderfully encouraging and inexpensive teacher/moderator through MeetUp.com under the “Psychic Gym.” It is useful to sit in a group of like-minded people who receive information from the spirit world, but only if it is a non-judgmental atmosphere. We all “see” a little differently. Personally I tend to hear first. Others see. Sometimes I feel. We’ve even smelled smoke.

2. Teacher or no teacher, the first thing to do today is to set up a protocol for yourself. Whether spirits are approaching you all day or just in sleep, you must set up the rules that work for you or you will be besieged. It’s as if there is a miner’s light on your head that shows those who have not walked into The Light for one reason or another, that you are available.

“Cool,” you might say until you can no longer sleep through the night. On the other side, the spirits do not deal with what we think of as everyday life. Remember there is no time in the Afterlife; therefore, they have no understanding that you need your 7 or 8 hours to pass your math test and make your English teacher smile as well. Time and space are constructs of our planet.

My suggestion is that you follow your religious beliefs and pray by asking for protection. Or if you are a “I can do it myself” kind of person, like me, I set up my own protocol. I deliberately connect with my angels, my High Self, the Christ Consciousness and God Her/Him/Itself.  I ask to see what needs to be seen for the Highest Good of all concerned. If I am doing this before sleep, I deliberately ask for protection from the angels as well as reminding them that I need to sleep. I am available for counseling ONLY for a specific amount of time, and state what that is. 

I have found that if I don’t set up a specific time, I can be bombarded with ghost energy, or those who have not moved into The Light, 24 hours a day. I don’t want that and if you want to graduate, most likely you won’t either.

3. It is a great gift that you are already moving the deceased into the Light. There are lots of reasons the dying don’t automatically move into the Light:

4.  Jessie, my suggestion is all of the above, plus know that if you choose, and it appears that you do, that this is a beautiful calling. Many need your help. You will improve simply by practice. The more you dapple in the spirit world, the better you will become.  It will be important for you to maintain your grounding as well. If you are not involved in sports, you might adding some physical activity. Your physical body needs to be strong to handle the emotional pull of those needing assistance.

5.  Understand that practice never makes perfect, but if you maintain your connection to the God Source and pray for guidance for the Highest Good of all concerned, it will all get easier. And do remember, that the wisdom comes through you. It is not of you. You are simply the conduit for the energy of the Divine.

Courtesy Ramsiel, Love&LightWorld

A young woman’s fiance, Dirk,  was stabbed on her 30th birthday three years ago. The two of them had had a fight and she walked out, only to find out afterward from her Dad that her boyfriend was dead.

She’s having trouble releasing him. “He was my world and now I’m lost. I know I feel him or I think it’s him.  My mom was also murdered when I was 9.  I guess I just want to know they are okay and if there are any messages for me.  I need to find a way to accept their deaths.”

This is way too much for most of us to handle. Your angels want to point out that you are the one left here while they took off because you are the strongest.  You are the one who can surmount these challenges and perhaps, even help others as they go through similar losses.  You are more powerful than you realize or this backward “opportunity” would not be coming your way. 

As you master this for yourself over time, you will be able to help others recover as well. The wisdom that is and will continue to come to you as you allow yourself to love and mourn and move on, can be of great service to others undergoing similar losses, whether murder or dependencies.

Your angels are saying that it is time to heal your heart. To stop worrying about how or why these horrific things happened. They just did and it is not your fault no matter what you think today.  Now is a time for you to move forward slowly in your life. Perhaps your boyfriend was a little hot-headed and aggravated a situation when he should have walked away.

As for you, notice that you are beginning to come into a more disciplined life. You are better balanced. If you were doing drugs, you are beginning to exhibit self-control. Perhaps you are managing your emotions better than before.

Dirk is opening up to a different way of living than what he knew when he was your boyfriend. He is living in a more openhearted, loving way. He is learning the lesson of allowing as opposed to pushing. He still loves you and will continue to do so but wants to encourage you to move forward in your own life, to love again, and to make the best of a rough start.

Your mom is a little different. She seems not to have moved into the Light.  She was afraid of being judged because she didn’t realize that she was the one doing the judging, not the Divine. When we don’t feel deserving, we imagine we will be shunted into the basement when the penthouse is available for the asking. If you choose, you can help your mom by forgiving her, even if it is for leaving you when you were only nine.

Courtesy Ramsiel, Love&LightWorld

A woman wrote in asking how to reach her newly deceased mom.

“I have lost my mother in March last month. She was in coma about a month but fought a lot to live. I want to know how can I communicate with her regularly. She was a strong force in our lives. I miss her terribly.”  Deepanjana , PA.

Deepanjani, I am sorry for the loss of your mother. It is a huge adjustment in our life when our mother or father passes on.

I have written quite a few posts on this subject:  http://www.AskYourAngels.com/alive-after-life/ The most recent ones are below, but there are more if you go back in the archives at the bottom of the blog.

•  Dreaming of Mom, Feb 25, 2013
•  How to Talk to your Deceased, Sept 15, 1012
•  Connecting with Mom, July 29 2012
•  A Medium’s Ideas:  5 Steps to Connecting, Jan 7, 2012
•  Talking to your Deceased: 5 Ways to Protect Yourself, Apr.9, 2012
•  The Afterlife:  A Medium’s Ideas and 5 Ways to Connect, Jan 7, 2012

It’s all about practice. Keep asking to connect, pay attention to intuitive “hits,” and one day you’ll know for certain that you and Mom have connected in love.  The difference between us is I have kept at it for years and one day it happened.  This ability is available to all of us. 

Courtesy Ramsiel, Love&LightWorld

As a medium, I often get questions like this one:

“I have a friend named William, who passed away years ago from Cancer.  Things were not good between us.  I married someone else but I have many regrets and hope that he has forgiven me.  Some times I think I hear his voice and feel him around me…”Jane, Abbotsford, B.C.

There are four points in this plea that apply to us all.

1.  When someone passes on and we feel like we have unfinished business, that energy seems to hold onto to us. It’s as if it drops in moist blobs off our shoulders. The answer is always the same. No matter what happened between the two of you, it is up to you to ask for forgiveness from the other person, dead or alive.

Why would you want do this? Because you are the one hurting.  You are the one who needs to repent. To let go. To create peace for yourself.  Perhaps the other person needs to or wants to as well, but if you are the one feeling this unrest, you would benefit by asking for forgiveness, even if you are certain you were faultless.

In the words of Dr. Len of Ho’oponopono, (“The Secret”) fame, “Please forgive me; I am sorry; I love you; I thank you.”  Amazing things happen when we release our hold on an ugly past, or even just an incident that keeps recurring in our mind.

2.  When Jane mentions she feels William’s presence, it is because he is with her. He, too, wants to repair their relationship.  He has already been through what’s called your “life review.”  In the review, he felt the emotional response of the other people he was involved with in his life. It’s not just that he witnessed the interaction between the two of them, but rather he actually lived it from Jane’s viewpoint, as well as his own.

As for the deceased William showing up in your space, it is because, he, too, is sorry that your relationship worked out the way it did. The good news is that he would like to make amends with you as well. He knows he was not guileless. He knows that he was not the man you had hoped he would be.

3.  Allowing yourself to hold on to an old romance when not only the romance, but the old boyfriend is deceased or even if he is just separated from you, does no one any good. It doesn’t help Jane’s current relationship because no matter how solid she seems to be with her man today, she is hiding part of herself. She is hiding her secret remorse. She is holding back a part of her by not allowing herself to release her old behavior. 

What if  her current mate feels like she is hiding some secret from him? What if her heart seems inaccessible? What if there is nothing to hide and the current mate has nothing to fear?  Rather it is her fear of letting herself feel her true feelings that is creating a block to connecting in a heartfelt manner today.  Once she forgives, she will come back into her body as the joyful woman she would like to be.

4.  Do the deceased come back to hang out around the people they love? The answer is a decided, “yes.”  There are many who pass on, who for one reason or another still stay close on the earth plane.  Not everyone moves directly into The Light, which is how William seems to be.

What we each need to understand is there appears to be a narrow window of Light when you cross over. Allow yourself to move into it and you will be propelled into the joy and abundance of what we like to call Heaven.  Through this energy of Unconditional Love, we can return easily to visit those we love.

Today I asked my angels this:

“What the heck is going on here? Everyone I know is in a mess. Either fiscal or physical.  I/we all need help.  Now.  Please advise.”

What follows might be of interest to you as well.

“You’ve noticed that your friends and clients, as well as you, all seem to be in a place of struggle? 

“Let us remind you what you have been told to do when you are swimming in the Pacific and you find yourself stuck in a rip tide. First you notice that you are unable to swim directly toward shore and safety. If you continue to push “forward,” you will drown. A word that is an anathema to the American psyche is ” surrender.” You surrender to the Divine.

“If you allow yourself to swim parallel with the shore, you will out-swim, or even out-float the riptide and survive. If you continue to push toward the shore in the direction of your intention, you will most likely drown unless there is a muscled lifeguard looking your way as you flail in the water. Even then, it’s a tricky save.

“Here’s the lesson for today. You and most of your readers are beings of a higher consciousness than most. That means that you have accepted there is something here, something in control, beside you. You’re not certain exactly what that something is, but just in case, you capitalize it. “Some Thing.”  Seems more powerful, doesn’t it?

“Here are 4 points to consider:

“1.  You and your readers have been working on yourselves consciously.  We are in agreement on that. If you require validation that you have been doing something, your current state of affairs, abysmal as they might be, could have been worse.

“What you have accomplished is you have moved off layers of what some call “karma.” By that we mean old abusive behavior on your part  and from others toward you, that caused grief and pain. Good job of letting go. 

“Did we mention that forgiveness is THE only answer?  Dr. Len of Ho’oponopono fame, suggests “Please forgive ME.”  Learn to say in your mind or in person to your abuser.  It’s a major step toward peace of mind, remembering we are all one.

“What you didn’t give yourself credit for is you have been alive for centuries. You are always alive. You only think you die. You have moments of peace in between your bodily incarnations. You’re the same person though. Every time around you master new behavior and gradually begin to understand that love is the only answer because God and Unconditional Love are synonymous.

“2.  You’ve been busy flushing out your old behaviors. You’ve done such an effective job, that you are into the “down and dirty.” You were not always the loving, kind person you consider yourself to be today. In fact you had lifetimes where you and God were not only not on speaking terms, but you refused to acknowledge that there was anything more powerful than you. Those are the lifetimes similar to  those you read about in the news.

“3.  Another major point of denial that grabs you by the throat is you still run your life from fear. Fear and love are opposites. What if we say to you that you have cleared enough old “stuff,” karma if you will, that you have gotten to the down and dirty?  You are stuck with latrine duty.

“There is no easy way around this. You are either living in peace, trusting that this Some Thing is in control or not. How do you navigate these waters? You stop resisting. You go with the flow as they said the in ’70s.

“4. One last point to consider. Many have not learned to ask for guidance. You ask, but then your ego runs with its old way of living life.  Instead you must learn to be still long enough to receive and accept the answer before you act. It’s another way to say, surrender. Or if you chose not to hear it, let go of your control. Give it up to the God within. If you knew the answer on your own,  you would not be struggling. “

Courtesy Ramsiel, Love&LigthWorld

I give up. It’s barely 3 a.m. I’m wide awake. My dead Mom and I have just been out together in Pa. We didn’t live together in Pa. We lived in NJ. I don’t even recall spending much time  in PA, a state I remember as rolling hills and green everywhere. with heart-shaped bathtubs.. I do remember vacations to Gettysburg’s battlefields on more than one  family outing with Daddy and Mom enraptured in the history and my little sister and me a little bored with cannons and cemeteries.

Here’s the thing about Mom and me. She had trouble liking me. I seemed to remind her of what she didn’t like about her life, which was considerable.  She also had a little problem with alcohol. At her heaviest, she weighed 98 lbs. Yet every night when Daddy came home from his factory, they would sit on opposite couches and have a dry Martini, one of those where the Vermouth was barely dribbled over the gin.  As a kid I thought this was part of every adult’s life. My parents and their friends of a certain unspoken financial status, did the same. Maybe a little beer with dinner and a Highball after dinner as well.

After Daddy died ten years before Mom, Mom aged fast and developed Cancer of “the everything.”  My sister was the vagabond of the family and traveling  in Europe at the time. I was immersed in my newly divorced life with 3 kids to support and love, a terrific job in Manhattan,  and boyfriends to amuse me.  Mom chose to move near her close friends in Florida.

Mom was pretty clear when she announced one day after a short visit north to see me and “the kids,” “Emmy and I can’t wait to see each other, but after a day or two we’ve had enough.” After all these years, I realized she had spoken her truth about how she felt. It hurt.

When the dead, and no one ever is, first came to me in 1999, they terrified me in the middle of the night asking  me to be their voice.   I began only because I was so scared of their very real presence.

A couple of times a month someone will ask me to connect them with their deceased relative or friend. I can do that but the strange thing was I could not connect with my own mom. She remained emotionally distant and after awhile I gave up. I still loved her. I still talked to her in my dream state. She still ignored me. I used to see her sitting on her Chaise longue facing away from me. She was holding court with her friends, where they were listening to my charming mother share her views of life. The point is, she never turned around to face me, even though I would cry out, “Mom!  MOM! It’s me!  Turn around so I can see you.” Yet she never did. She remained engrossed in her own world, still ignoring me.

Things changed last year.  I awoke very early one morning looking for Mom. By this time she had been dead for 30 years. I would feel for her on the other side of the bed. Sometimes I’d stumble into the bathroom to see if I had put out clean towels for her.  Always I would awake wondering if she had a key and wander around searching for her before I was fully awake.

What woke me this morning at an hour when we all deserve to be sleeping, was I couldn’t remember her phone number. Where exactly did she live? How can I meet her when I didn’t write down her address and what’s wrong with me that I don’t know it automatically?   Am I losing it? I lost it all right and it wasn’t mom’s number or her address.  I was traveling with her and continue to do so most nights.  We’re booked on the same flight after all.

The interesting part is we love each other. Whatever kept her from loving me, whatever antagonism was created between the two of us, it’s over. I awake feeling loved and happy. Mom is as real as my closest friend in life. I don’t think of her all day. I don’t even think of her when I fall asleep. Somehow Mom catches a ride into my dream state and we do heaven knows what. All I know is every morning I wake up with a smile on my face, knowing Mom and I have finally connected for real. Her love is the gift I always wanted. I had to wait for 30 years after her death to receive it, but it’s just as good now as it would have been then.

Courtesy Ramsiel, Love&LightWorld

Frequently I receive emails asking about a deceased friend or relative. This is typical.

“Please let me know if I can get a clear indication about my brother’s well-being. I have lost him in a sudden accident. Can I get an assurance from him that he is still with me? I am feeling desperately lonely without him.” Anu Sharma, New Dehli, IN

Dear Anu,

You are not hearing from your brother because he is not convinced he is deceased. This happens often in sudden accidents, where the deceased are not sure what is going on. Your brother is wondering what’s wrong you?  Why aren’t you paying attention?  I’m right here! Why are you grieving? What is going on? Why aren’t you listening to me?  He wants to shout in your ear, ” I’m right here! Don’t you see me?”

You have not connected with him not only because  he doesn’t realize he is dead but also  he is a little angry that no one is paying attention to him, including you. Obviously you are doing everything possible to connect but he is definitely on a different wave length.

The problem is he still sees himself in a body when he’s not. He feels normal and alive when he is normal all right, but deceased.

My suggestion is that you make a small altar with his picture on it. Talk to him once or twice a day and tell him he is deceased. Allow yourself to feel your love for him. Explain that you are unable to fully connect with him and his spirit because you can’t feel or see him in the physical, the same way he is unable to make contact with you.

Then just sit with him.  Once he settles down and begins to understand that he is no longer visible in the third dimension, he may begin to understand. That is all you can do until he is willing to deal with the fact that he has passed on.  Don’t underestimate the power of love.

Please remember that time is a measurement on our planet. Your brother has no clock, no calendar. What can seem like forever to you can simply be a moment for him. My own mother was dead for over six months before I felt her. I saw her clearly one day when I was taking a nap on the couch by myself. I was not “trying,” I was just at peace.

Your brother is struggling with being invisible to those he loves. I am sure you can imagine how difficult this is, especially when someone passes quickly in an accident. He was healthy one minute and deceased the next. He must accept that he is dead first; secondly, that he has to learn how to make himself visible to you by accepting that he is dead; and thirdly, you must be receptive.  Remember that he lives in a space where he is not in form. You live in a space where form is real. He lives where there is no time; you live where everything is organized by time.

The easiest thing to do is to surround yourself in The Light when you go to bed. Ask to know of this presence, and be very, very patient.  It took almost 30 years for my mom to speak to me in my dreams and I talk with the deceased every day. Not my mom. She showed up once and then moved on. Now I often wake up with a smile, knowing Mom and I have been together.

No one dies Anu. You know that. You can create this connection if your brother is willing and if you keep at it. What if he is aware of you but is unable to connect because of his skill set. Talk to him anyway. Let him know how much you love him. Sooner or later he will understand.

Courtesy Ramsiel, Love&Light World

Many of us would like to be able to connect with our deceased loved ones. It makes no difference if the inquirer is in India or the U.S., the cry for help is the same.

Here’s  a sample from today’s emails:

 ”I just lost my mother February, 2012. She was my best friend and I was hers. I have not had any signs from her. When she was alive I used to tell her to pick something in my house and move it so I would know she was around. So I know my mom would come to me if she could. Now my belief is going down hill. I just want her to come to me in a dream or something and let me know I will see her again someday.” Lisa, OH

My gift is that I connect deliberately with the angelic realm and they teach me to teach you. There are several things to consider.

Just because you are not able to connect with mom (or dad) now that they have passed on, does not mean that they have forsaken you.

What if all these months, mom has been knocking herself out to let you know she is fine but you are looking the wrong way? Or you are watching TV every day or night and not open to receive? Or you have a picture in your mind that your mom needs to move something in your home to signal that she is with you and are not aware of other differences.

Imagine your mom is who she always was. She still loves you. She is still alive. The difference is she is not in a body. Initially that’s it! The essence of her is the same nurturing woman you remember. Did she know how to do supernatural things when she was alive? No? Then what makes you think she can do them now?

We take ourselves with us.  The recently deceased are more likely to be able to give you a sign when they first pass on. Within a few days of passing or at the funeral or burial itself, mourners often report a bird or a butterfly close to the coffin. Or mom’s favorite song shows up on the radio. Sometimes a light that is perfectly fine can flicker out and come back on. 

The longer the time from when the deceased passed, the more challenging it is for them to connect. There are very few of us who can learn to play guitar well in one sitting. Or make homemade bread perfectly on the first try. This is the same. This connection is a two-way street. If you plug in the lamp next to the couch and don’t turn it on, nothing happens.

You must be open to receive. You need to still your mind. It is only in the physical that life is so blunt, so either-or. In our “dead life,” life is subtle. There is no form. No time. It’s a completely different reality where you “walk” in Unconditional Love.

What is important is your desire and willingness to connect. It is not up to mom alone. It is up to you to get out of your head and into your heart and make use of your intuitive senses. We all have this capability. You can all do what I do. 

The challenge is to release the physical long enough to become aware of the subtlety of communicating with the deceased.

Talking with the deceased is not like a slap on the back. Rather it is like a whisper of a breeze. You have to allow yourself to experience what you think is not real. Remember your deceased are not in a body. They do not communicate physically.