Dear Angels,
"My mom, Penny, has ALS, Progressive Bulbar Palsy. This fatal disease is very aggressive and extremely debilitating with no cure and a short life prognosis. My mom is already experiencing severe symptoms of not being able to speak and difficulty swallowing. My mom is incredibly depressed and without hope. I worry every day as she lives six hours from me.  My sister and I want her to move to my sisters so she can be closer to family.

My mom has always had a negative outlook on life and I worry this news is going to make her more depressed and hopeless about everything. I am not ready to lose my mom and want her to be happy.  She just doesn't seem to want us around because she thinks we are smothering her and forcing her to do  something she doesn't want...I feel so sad and depressed and I don't know how to really help my mom or what to say.  I just love her and would do anything to help bring peace and joy into her life."  Holly, Los Angeles

Dear Holly,
I feel your pain over this tragedy happening to your mom and understand your concern.  If you are honest with yourself, you will realize you are relieved you live six hours away. It is easier to be compassionate from a distance than to watch the body deteriorate daily.

Your mom knows she is dying. She knows there is nothing any of you can do.  And she doesn't want to be in a place with you all fussing over her, making your own lives more difficult.  She will need shortly, if not already, 24 hour care. It is admirable your sister wants to take her home with her, but perhaps it is too big a job for an untrained person alone. 

What you can do is visit her while she is still alive. Tell her how much you love her. Recall out loud the good times you all had together, and do your best to let go of what didn't go well. If her tendency was to feel depressed in normal life, there is no reason to imagine she will change now when the life force energy is being squeezed out of her.  When you visit, you and your sister can bring old photos to share what good times you had with her as children. 

Hold the love and appreciation you feel for her and if you can, visit while she is still able to know you are there. She will begin to move into an altered state, a limbo-like state of neither here nor there, as she adjusts to the shutdown of her physical body.  Nature often provides an anesthesia that deadens everyday life while it opens us up to the next chapter of life, which we call death. 

The Angels share that we leave our bodies at our own speed of comfort.  As our new world of "death" is opens up, old friends and loved ones appear to ease our normal fears of transition. We are never alone.
 


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